Episodes
Tuesday Jun 25, 2019
Tuesday Jun 25, 2019
Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage Part 3 (Intimate Conversation & Physical Attractiveness)
Episode 015
June 25, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe
- The 3rd part of our series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs. Intimate Conversation & Physical Attractiveness
Discussion
Erica: How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls. (See episode 13)
- Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
Recap See episode 13 for details
Questionnaire to identify your emotional need
Scripture:
Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
- What are my emotional needs?
- Intimate Conversation (Erica talks about this) #2 most important Emotional need for women.
- What are my emotional needs?
- First emotional need met in an affair (Willard F. Harley)
- Intimacy ( PKJ- Into me I ALLOW you to see)
- How am I doing?
- How am I feeling?
- What do I think?
- Ryan’s question
- Dating vs Married Conversations
- Dating getting to know each other from the beginning
- Married continuing to get to know other (lifelong journey)
- Date night conversations
- We have different reasons for talking
- Men talk to relay information-head to head (example- sports stats)
- Women talk to connect-heart to heart (I’m feeling this way)
- Women are eager to share with other men the problems they are having in the relationship
- Give her a reason to want to talk to you
- Reasons he won’t talk to me
- Nagging Prov 27:15 “A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;”
- Critical
- Monopolize Conversation
- Conversation Volly
- Practical ways to meet your spouse’s emotional need for Intimate Conversation
- Physical Attractiveness (Sam talks about this)
- People with this need want their spouse to be hot
- To be physically attractive
- Some men (people) could care less...they have other emotional needs that are much more important.
- Its not about looking like someone else but being the best, sexiest, healthiest, hottest version of you.
- Love me as I am!
- To a person that has this emotional need those are fighting words
- Physical Attractiveness seems like a trivial need...unless it yours (But they all do to someone that doesn’t have them)
- A person with this need takes it personally when its met and personally when its not.
- A good indicator that this may be high on your spouse’s list is if they put a lot of energy into their appearance.
-
The Bible speaks of fitness 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
- Practical ways to meet your spouse’s need of Physical Attractiveness
Monday Jun 17, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage Podcast - 014 - Emotional Needs, Affection and Sex
Monday Jun 17, 2019
Monday Jun 17, 2019
Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage Part 2 (Affection & Sexual Fulfillment)
Episode 014
June 17, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe
- The 2nd part of our series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs. Affection and Sexual Fulfillment
Discussion
Erica: How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls. ( See episode 13)
- Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
Recap See episode 13 for details
Questionnaire to identify your emotional need
- What are my emotional needs? Questionnaire
- Affection (Erica talks about this) As it turns out this is my #1 need Scripture Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
- What are my emotional needs? Questionnaire
- Non sexual way of showing he cares
- Makes us feel like we are the most important person to you
- Things you used to do before you were married
- Men were not raised to show affection
- Tell him what you like
- Practical ways to meet your spouses emotional need for Affection
- Sexual Fulfillment (Sam talks about this)
- The misunderstanding
- Sex is as important to a man is as affection is to a woman and vise vera but we dont get it.
- Testosterone makes it a biological thing
- Men, most while their still boys, discover their sexuallity early and therefore usually bring more understanding of how to have a pleasurable sexual experience into a marriage.
- Motivation
- That sexdrive, the pleasure and the connection all motivate a man for women its a lot less biological and much more about intimacy and the emotional connection
- Practical ways to meet your spouse’s need of Sexual Fulfillment
- How do I feel/respond if my needs are not being met?
- Resentment
- Frustration- only restaurant - 1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
- Disconnect/Drift
- Affairs/Temptation
- Lashing out James 3:6 “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast/marriage-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Now that you have a better idea of what your spouse’s emotional needs are try to focus on meeting his/her # 1 need this week. It may be awkward at first but so was that first date. Give each other grace as you exercise this muscle. You can do it!
RESOURCES
Bible
His Needs, Her Needs- Building an Affair Proof Marriage Willard F. Harley, Jr.
For Married Men Only- Dr. Tony Evans
For Married Women Only-Dr. Tony Evans
Monday Jun 03, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast - Meeting My Spouse's Emotional Needs- 013
Monday Jun 03, 2019
Monday Jun 03, 2019
Meeting your Spouse’s Emotional Needs in Your Marriage: Part 1
Episode 013
June 3, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe
- Multi part series on Meeting my Spouse’s Emotional needs.
Discussion
How we arrived at this topic- Share the conversation we had with the girls. Share experience with the book in the past and how we landed on reading the book a second time.
- Introduction to book in small group season at our church
- We are afraid to be honest with our spouse for fear of response (spouse/culture)
- Erica’s response to Sam’s need
- Sam’s response to Erica’s need
- Get dialogue going between husband and wife if nothing else
- We have to understand the needs that are marital related and the ones that are rooted in childhood issues. i.e needs not met by an absentee father/abusive mother, seek professional help if necessary.
What are my emotional needs?
- Identify what my emotional needs are?
- Is it unrealistic for me to expect my spouse to meet my emotional needs?
- How do I feel/respond if they are not being met?
- What happens in my marriage if they are not being met?
- How do I feel/respond when they are being met?
- What happens in my marriage if they are being met?
- How do I let my spouse know what they are?
- What should we do with this information?
- Identify what my emotional needs are? (listed in no order)
- Answer the questions on the questionnaire (Sam introduce the easy way to figure it out)
- Affection
- Sexual Fulfillment
- Intimate Conversation
- Recreational Companionship
- Honesty and Openness
- Physical Attractiveness
- Financial Support
- Domestic Support
- Family Commitment
- Admiration
- Be honest with yourself
- We may not understand our own needs
- Don’t just focus on the ones not being met
- Don’t be ashamed of your emotional needs
- Your need is your need
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast/marriage-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Take some time and talk through your emotional needs with your spouse. ??
RESOURCES
Bible
Emotional needs questionnaire:
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/emotional-needs-questionnaire.htm
His Needs, Her Needs- Building an Affair Proof Marriage Willard F. Harley, Jr.
For Married Men Only- Dr. Tony Evans
For Married Women Only-Dr. Tony Evans
Monday May 27, 2019
Monday May 27, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 4 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Fall
Episode 012
May 27, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe.
- Part 4 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Fall”
What is fall in a marriage?
- Seasons teach us about God and can teach us things about marriage?
- What fall is?
- What fall is not?
- So what do we do now that we know?
Psalm 74:17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.
- Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
- He shows us things that apply to all of creation
- Natural laws
- You reap what you sow
- You always reap more than you sow
- We can add
- God Multiplies
- You always reap in like kind
- Harvest of plenty
- Harvest of lack
- We don’t reap in the same season that we sow
- Patience
- You can’t change this year’s harvest
- You can learn from it though
- Insanity
- How do seasons apply to marriage
- There are different things that we should be doing in each season
- Seasons are connected
- Happens in this season impact a future season
- Seasons are temporary
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
- What fall is
- The season to harvest
- Finally, you get to reap all that you’ve sown
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
- A busy season
- labor intensive
- Season of preparation Proverbs 31:21 NIV
“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.” - A season of beauty
- Season of calmness
Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
1. Fall is a time to work and a time celebrate
- Our next season or two are often tied to the success of the harvest
- Cultivating in summer helps a builds a healthy harvest
- It’s the season in your marriage when your plans have matured (become full grown)
- Fall is the first season to enjoy, things you’ve planted in a previous season
- What fall is not
- The time to rest
- We have work to do
- The season for planning or changing your plans
scripture ?***James 5:7 ? “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.”
- What then should we do in Fall
Mark 12:30-31 NIV“ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.””
- Enjoy the fruit
- Maximize time together
- Dating
- Mini-getaways
- Finish strong!
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
- Celebrate the increase God has blessed you with!
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Tune in for our next series on successfully meeting those emotional needs. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
NEXT EPISODE
A day in the life of Sam and Erica’s Marriage. Meeting those emotional needs. Oh boy!!
Sunday Mar 31, 2019
Sunday Mar 31, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 3 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Summer
Episode 011
April 1, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Good to be back! We were on our getaway.
- Part 3 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Summer”
Discussion
What is summer in a marriage?
- How do seasons relate to marriage?
- What summer is?
- What summer is not?
- So what do we do now that we know?
- Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
- He demonstrates His sovereignty
- We can’t make a season change. Only God can!
- Make the most of each season, because when it’s over it’s over.
- He demonstrates His sovereignty
Psalm 74:17 It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter.
- How do seasons apply to marriage
- There are different things that we should be doing in each season
- Seasons are temporary.
- Our experiences happen in and out of season not the other way around.
- A person might describe 3 tough years in their marriage as one long season when in fact during those 3 years that person actually had a tough time that spanned 12 full seasons.
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
- What summer is
- The growing season
- A great season for activity, recreation and hanging out. Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
1. Opposite of winter- Noisy
- Energized
- A time for shepherding and cultivating
- Lots of fruit ripens in summer
- Expect to begin to enjoy, for the first time, things you’ve planted in a previous season
- Season for lovers
- Romance
- Popular season for weddings
- Gratitude
- “What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?” -John Steinbeck.
- What summer is not
- A season of perfection
- It rains
- Cool nights
- Grass turns brown
- The primary season to harvest
- Things that we’ve planted are growing but not quite ready for harvest
- We have to be patient and not try to harvest too soon.
scripture ?***James 5:7 ? “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.”
- What then should we do in Summer
- Make the best of the time together
- Take time to rest in this busy season-Harvest season is coming
- Have fun!
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which season your marriage is in. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Monday Mar 18, 2019
Monday Mar 18, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 2 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Spring
Episode 010
March 4, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe...it’s free!
- Part 1 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Spring”
Discussion
What is spring in a marriage?
- How do seasons relate to marriage?
- What spring is?
- What spring is not?
- So what do we do now that we know?
- Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
- He demonstrates His sovereignty
- We can’t make a season change. Only God can!
- Spring always follows winter
- He demonstrates His sovereignty
- How do seasons apply to marriage
- There are different things that we should be doing in each season
- Seasons are temporary.
- Our experiences happen in and out of season not the other way around.
- A person might describe 3 tough years in their marriage as one long season when in fact during those 3 years that person actually had a tough time that spanned 12 full seasons.
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
- What spring is
- A time when things begin to grow
- A time when there’s new energy and vitality
- A time for prime time for planting
- Starting something new
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
- Spring is the season when we’re most optimistic and hopeful.
- Spring is the time when we begin acting on those things we planned in winter.
- What spring is not
- A time for reaping
- We tend to have unreasonable expectations for spring
- The season to chill (that winter)
- Spring is about working
- There is no better time to plant seeds than spring
Pro 31:21 NIV When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
- What then should we do in spring
- Plant those things that want to harvest in future seasons
- When you’re in a bad season you have to remember to plant good seed
- Celebrate surviving the winter
- Get and stay active
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which season your marriage is in. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Monday Mar 04, 2019
Monday Mar 04, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Seasons in Your Marriage Part 1 of 4: Seasons - When Your Marriage is in Winter
Episode 009
March 4, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe...it’s free!
- Part 1 of our 4 part series on Seasons In Your Marriage “When Your Marriage is in Winter”
Discussion
What is winter in a marriage?
- How do seasons relate to marriage?
- What winter is?
- What winter is not?
- So what do we do now that we know?
- What are seasons and how do they relate to marriage?
Rom 1:20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
- God reveals himself to us through creation
- His sovereignty
- Seasons are natural laws that further reveal truths about God and His creation
- We can’t make a season change. Only God can!
- Seasons mean a lot to us personally
- We chose to name our ministry “Seasons” because of the power of this concept
- How do seasons apply to marriage
- We have each of the 4
- God gives a plan for each of the 4
- If we are present and obedient in the season we’re in we are almost ensured better seasons in the future
Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
Gen 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease."
- What winter is
- A time where very little grows
- A time when things are less active (stillness)
- A time for prime time for rest and restoration
- Almost forced
- A season filled with beauty...but the beauty looks different
- A great season for planning and preparing for the rest of the year
- What winter is not
- A dead season
- Your marriage, love or spiritual things are not dead
- A desperate season
- It’s only desperate when you haven’t handled your previous seasons properly
Pro 31:21 NIV When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
- A dry season
- Technically the precipitation of winter is the basis for the spring growth.
- A season to be depressed
- Winter can be as fun and as fulfilling as any other season
- What then should we do in winter
- Enjoy all your harvest from the fall
- Great season for hanging out with your spouse
- Good time to start new spiritual disciplines
- Plan your spring and summer
- Enjoy things that you can only do in winter
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- Take some time throughout this month and pay attention to which season your marriage is in. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Monday Feb 25, 2019
Monday Feb 25, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Romance in Your Marriage Part 4 of 4: Romance - Celebrating Your Spouse
Episode 008
February 25, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Subscribe...it’s free!
- Part 4 of our 4 part series on Romance In Your Marriage “Celebrating your gift”
Discussion
How to Celebrate Your Spouse!
- What does it mean to celebrate your spouse?
- Why should we celebrate our spouse?
- When should we celebrate our spouse?
- How should we celebrate our spouse?
- Celebrating each other is a fundamental element of romance.
Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
- Celebrating your spouse is an act of obedience that will endear you to one another
- Being celebrated reminds us that we are loved
- Celebration is both motivation and reward
- Celebrating your spouse touches them deeply and in most cases permanently
- Why should we celebrate our spouse
- Celebrating your spouse is another way you strengthen your connection
- Being celebrated reminds us that we are loved
- Celebrating each other creates a “fan” culture
- Celebrating builds confidence
- Creates memories
- Builds oneness-teamwork
- Leaves a legacy for our children
1 Peter 4:8: Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
- When should we celebrate our spouse
. A. Birthday
- Anniversaries
- Accomplishments
- Milestones
- Holidays
- Daily-regularly
- How should we celebrate our spouse
- Publicly
- Privately
- In the way your spouse appreciates most (speak your spouse’s love language)
- Authentically
- Sacrificially
Matthew 6:21: Where your treasures are your heart will be also.
ACTION ITEMS
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
- If within the last 6 months you had a “miss” with celebrating your spouse.. how about a “do-over”. Celebrate them, celebrate each other. Let us know how it goes. Leave a voicemail or comment on whatever platform you listen to the podcast. We are eager to hear from you.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we dig a little deeper into the different “seasons” of marriage.
Monday Feb 18, 2019
Monday Feb 18, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Romance in Your Marriage Part 3 of 4: Romance - Let’s get away!!
Episode 007
February 18, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Go ahead and subscribe...it’s free!
- Part 3 of our 4 part series on Romance In Your Marriage “Let’s get away!!
Discussion
Why is a getaway important?
- It gives you something to look forward to
- To reconnect
- To celebrate your marriage
- This may be a new concept for you.
- Parents never took vacations together
- Leaving a legacy for legacy
- To make new memories
What should we do on our getaway?
- Sex
- Corinthians 7:1-4 “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
- Corinthians 7:1-4 “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
- Set goals
- Spend time doing things you enjoy doing together
- Try something new
- REST!!!
- Mark 6:30-31” The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.””
- We are a society that’s busier than ever these days.
- Kids are constantly on the go.
- Ministry
- Work
- Mark 6:30-31” The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.””
How long should a getaway last?
- We recommend at least 3-4 days (but shoot for as long as possible)-it may take you 1 whole day for travel and just to unwind from the last few months or year depending on how long it’s been since your last getaway.
- If you go to a conference try to go a day or 2 ahead and/or stay a day or two later
- As important as the number of days are, and they are, the quality of the time is just as important.
Who goes on the getaway?
- Husband and wife only
- This says to your spouse you are important to me. I want to spend this time with you.
- You can plan a family vacation and include the kids later.
Where should we go?
- Personal choice
- Conferences
- Good for getting refreshed in the Word on how to be married God’s way.
- Cruises
- All inclusive resort
- Different cities or states
- Favorite hotels
- To see or do something on your Bucket List
- Conferences
What should we do to prepare?
- Pray/Fast ahead of time.
- John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
- Plan ahead financially (spending plan)
- Make sure you get passports way ahead of time if you’re leaving the country
- Have backup plans for childcare/petcare
What should we take?
- As little as possible
- Music
ACTION ITEMS
- ? Share in the comment section how this is going. We want to hear about it.
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we continue our discussion on Romance In Your Marriage.
Monday Feb 11, 2019
Monday Feb 11, 2019
Sam and Erica's Marriage podcast
Romance in Your Marriage Part 2 of 4: Romance - Fanning the Flames
Episode 006
February 11, 2019
Introduction
- Welcome
- Go ahead and subscribe...it’s free!
- Part 2 of our 4 part series on Romance In Your Marriage
Discussion
Fanning the flames
When we notice the fire going out or dying down we we have take action to get those embers going again.
We have to be intentional (my word for 2019) if we want to see change.
The Drift
- Life gets in the way
- Unintentional
- Past hurts and unforgiveness can stop a relationship from growing
- We understand that where there is hurt, resentment or unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with. We suggest you get counseling. We know it’s hard to just put a “date-aid” on a old wound and expect everything to be ok. One small “bump” and the pain will come right back. Seek professional help, it’s worth it!!
- Work, kids, ministry, family can be a diversion from what’s going on in marriage
- Can be a comfort zone
Meeting the needs of my spouse (Questionnaire)
- What are my emotional needs?
- Be honest when filling out the survey. Your spouse can’t meet those needs if you are not honest with the answers.
- What are my spouse’s emotional needs?
Generalizations
- Her first need is Affection
- Hold her hand
- Cuddle for the sake of cuddling.
- She’s not clingy she has a need.
- She may not even be aware that this is a need until it’s not being met.
- When you dated or early in the marriage these things were automatic.
- His first need is Sexual Fulfillment
- Her second need is Intimate Conversation
- She wants your undivided attention.
- She needs to know that she’s important to you and what she has to say matters.
- His second need is Recreational Companionship
- Sam & Erica call it “hanging out”
Meeting these needs make you irresistible to your spouse
- Realization on whether I’m meeting those needs or not
- Love bank/ Love tank.
- When we are meeting the emotional needs of our spouse we are making deposits into his or her account.
- When we aren’t meeting those needs just the opposite is happening. We are draining our spouse and they begin to feel unloved and will retaliate in a way that hurts the relationship.
- Am I willing to meet those needs?
- Meeting those needs has to be intentional
- Realization on whether I’m meeting those needs or not
- Proverbs 5:18-19 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a living hind and graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.
- Ladies, I read in a book that our husbands should be so satisfied that’s it’s like if they were so stuffed with their favorite meal and were offered dessert they would turn it down.
- It can even work even if your spouse is unaware
Burning hotter then it has in the past
- If you know your spouse’s emotional need / love language you are better equipped to show love to them in a way they need it most.
There are blessings in meeting the needs of my spouse
- Builds a deeper level of intimacy
- Opens up the possibilities in the relationship
- Creates oneness.
ACTION ITEMS
- This time we want you to go out on a date. It’s Valentine’s Day this week. Enjoy each other. Try working in meeting the emotional needs of your spouse. Share in the comment section how this is going. We want to hear about it.
- Pray for our podcast-we are praying for you.
- Don’t forget to subscribe.
- Share the podcast with two other people.
RESOURCES
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory from His Needs, Her Needs
Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
His Needs, Her Needs on Amazon
Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau
A Celebration of Sex on Amazon
NEXT EPISODE
Next we continue our discussion on Romance In Your Marriage.